She closed her eyes and when she opened them again the room was sparkling in gold. Somehow the transformation occurred even to her subjects around her. The world was a single accessory that matched her mood. She was terrifying in gold, the glittering quality of her skin inhuman. “Kill the human when you find it. It won’t be as fresh, but it’ll still be delicious.” It was the same voice as my blind date. Great.
I watched from a grate, hidden from view by an ornate bench against the wall. As best I could tell I was in their airflow vents, large ducts that I could easily crawl through. One of the beasts spoke and the figure on the dias (complete with crown and throne) appeared to get angry. She decapitated him with a snap of her duck-billed jaws. Snap. Just like that.
I wasn’t in Kansas anymore, and I didn’t even have Toto to keep me company. No, this was something other-worldly. Literally. It was another world. Somehow I’d been transported through space to this terrifying place with literal bloodthirsty aliens. Somehow I’d escaped the notice of my guards, to find the solace of conveniently large ductwork.
When I’d finally woke up I was dressed in strange fabrics that shifted colors, kept in a glorified cage. I could slip through the bars, but they were for show. The real danger was the slavering figures on the outside of the bars, who thankfully could not slip through them. Like some sort of demented ducks with teeth, their feathered bodies also shifted through a patternless splattering of colors.
The monsters outside my cage didn’t seem to communicate in any language. Loud honks and skittering of their feet and flapping of wings. I didn’t know that they wanted to eat me, at first. That came later. First, I had to escape and find a hiding place. When she finally gave the call for my execution? That’s when it all became clear.
Going to the house of a girl who said she could just eat me up turned out to be the worst idea I’d ever had. I don’t even remember how I got there. Never go on a blind date without meeting in public, first.