3630

My greatest weakness
is a strength
so to better it
weakens me.

I need to be
that which I am
but to do so
I must become
that which I am not
first.
Then I can be
that which I am
when what I become
won’t remember.

My dream is for survival
to stop hurting.

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3530

It’s as much my life force
As the ichor in my veins.
A tonic against nihilism
A balm on half-burned expectations
A blessing, were blessings painful and crude
A backdrop of my self-portrait nude
The only constant in a life
Lived too long yet still short
Of Atropos’ knife.

(If I could kiss moonbeams
and sunshine
I wouldn’t need it any longer)

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3430

Could I be an inspiration?

Could you drink me
like I drink your dreams
on canvas, film, in sound?

If I paid the price
could you spend me in turn
writhing between your thumb and index
while you grin at my ecstasy?

Kiss me, or I die from longing.

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3330

If I were a unicorn
stuck in human skin
it’d make a lot of sense.

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3230

Did you read this?
Does it matter?
I care so much
that I’m heard
but
so rarely
do people notice
unless I chatter
and then
it’s only to point out
I talk too much.

I’m afraid of silence
but that’s what’s wanted
from me.

I’m afraid of others
noticing me
because then
they might feel
like I do.

I can’t hide
I don’t even try
but for some reason
I’m still hidden.

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3130

I wish I could inspire
an artist to paper and pen.
To bring to life
myself, again,
simply because
he loves me so much
he can’t help but make more of me.

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3030

People
often think
I’m angry or frustrated
when really?

I’m excited.
I’m into it.
I’m
engaging.

“Why are you so frustrated?”
is the most frustrating thing.
I wasn’t till a second ago,
thanks.

A friend often says
she has no emotional privacy
because it’s all plain
on her face.

For meĀ it’s like
speaking another language
that everyone thinks they know.
They’re translating it wrong.

That’s not happiness
it’s melancholy.
That’s not frustration
it’s excitement.

That’s not depression
oh wait, nope, it is.
Even a blind dog
barks in the right direction
sometimes.

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2930

Is life a series
of milestones
that we continue to see
over and over
because we keep forgetting
it’s a circle?

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2830

The story of my life:
I should be doing work.

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2730

I have a puppy
and I think he loves me
he wants to be near me
(especially if he can hear me)
even when sleeping.

Sometimes I wonder
if he loves me
because I feed him
pet him
play with him?

Then I remember
that’s how I came to love
my family.

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